Relationships between people are messy, complicated things, and that’s the reason why around 50% of marriages end in divorce. The alarming statistics when it comes to long-term relationships between humans aren’t hard to come by, and sometimes there’s no other choice but to separate. However, some romantics still believe in true love and find it hard to take no for an answer.
While divorce or separation after a long time together is sometimes terribly necessary, it’s still often terrible, nevertheless. All that investment, the years of love and sacrifice, dashed in a moment of drunken stupidity or words that couldn’t be taken back. Many folks have been there, and many have the emotional scars to prove it. Sometimes though, breakups happen for all the wrong reasons, and frequently a person feels like they simply have to make amends and win back the love of their life no matter what. Even after a messy breakup, there are some practical ways to get the love of your life back into your life.
It may appear a little underhanded at first sight, but nothing could be further from the truth. After all, he is the one for you, and you’ll stop at nothing to show him that. Remember all those common friends you share? Reach out and meet for a coffee or some dinner. Ask after your ex, send regards, let him or her know that you’re around, and making inquiries about them. Sometimes, once the hurt egos have healed a little and the passage of time has done its thing, reconciliation is possible, and often the relationship bounces back twice as strong as before due to the trials and tribulations endured by both parties.
You guys were an item for years; you know each other. You know she shops at the grocery store on the corner every Wednesday after work, and so what if you just happen to be there doing some grocery shopping of your own? There’s a fine line here between strategic and creepy, so always be aware of that. But if you suspect your ex’s fire for you still hasn’t died completely and could be rekindled from dwindling, put yourself out there and try to make sure you say a friendly hi and even stop for a chat. As mentioned, don’t veer into stalker territory or show up too often. Getting that balance just right is somewhat of an art, and staying on the right side of it is the best advice.
Perhaps one of the most important things a person can do following a breakup (and specifically and nasty one) is to take some time to focus on themselves. As well as working on oneself and analyzing the things one did wrong, it’s also a time for healing and self-love. Take that well-deserved vacation, take some time off work, buy that new gadget you’ve been putting off for months. Healing the pain and allowing the time it takes to reset and come back to being yourself is vital if you’re going to entertain thoughts about long-term love. It’s also a great chance to get into shape, hit the gym, meet with old friends, and even date a little, just to check you are ready to get back into something serious.
One reason that many couples finish is due to a lack of romance from one side, the other, or both. Romance is a vital part of any sustainable, long-term relationship, even if that’s challenging as time goes on. You don’t want to overdo it, especially following a breakup, but a cleverly purchased gifts, reminiscent of old memories you shared, could be just enough to relight that spark. If she loves red roses, buy her a dozen for her birthday with a polite greeting card attached. If he loves music, buy him some iTunes vouchers or a handy music player. Remind your old flame how much you cared and still care.
Make Your Move
Following a no contact or “cooling off” period, the time will eventually come for you to put the good advice mentioned here into practice, even if that prospect is a little scary. Hopefully, during the no contact period, you both had time to work on yourselves and to reevaluate your dynamic and the reasons why you finished. Compose a well thought out and expertly written email sharing your deepest thoughts and emotions. Send a gift at the same time you send the email, send a text, make a phone call. Whatever your choice of media is, a random knock at the door can also work really well. Make sure you’re ready to rekindle things and try to make sure as best you can that your partner is in a similar frame of mind.